Last night I wrote an incredible argumentative scene between my main protagonist, David, and a main secondary character, Eric, for my second novel in the Chronicles of Fallhollow saga. I set it aside, worked on my current novel and came back to it today to check for flow, sound, intensity, clarity, etc. I have to say, I had one of those rare moments when I looked at it and said, “Did I really write this?”
Have you ever had moments like that, when you felt your fingers and mind were possessed by an incredible being you didn’t know but would really like to meet? I love moments like that; however, I think I know the being that guided my words last night. His name is Anger.
Not to get deep into personal stuff, but hubby and I had a verbal war last night and, in keeping with my classic style and form, I stewed about it all through dinner and late into the night. Nothing had been resolved…not even after it hit my computer screen.
The passion, the fire, the anger, the tears — all of it came out in this fictional scene of jealousy, righteousness, superiority, and indignation. Every painful, retaliatory thing I wanted to say in real life exploded on the screen. Every jab, every bite, every hurtful thing that could be said to bring Eric to his knees, David said. It was all because Eric had hurt him deeply over something extremely important to the two of them – Charlotte.
As in real life, I found this morning that my fictional ‘next day’ still had David and Eric stewing, unable to find neutral, happy grounds. I know, as in real life, the situation will resolve, but to what extent? Who will be left with more scars, if anyone? Who will be declared a winner, if there can be a winner? Will these two ever be able to set aside their petty differences and realize they are both fighting for the same goal – they merely have different ways to get there?
Many times than not, my moods dictate my writing. It is here that the writing comes from the heart, the soul. It creeps up from the gut in an unleashed fury. I live for moments like these when true emotions, whether it’s anger, or sadness, happiness or regret, possess the fiber of my being and I can touch it, grasp it, cling to it and write about it, and perhaps even work through to a solution that I couldn’t see with my conscious mind.
What about you? Do you write better when you are in the throes of anger or tears, or happiness? If so, is your writing better because of it?