Slush pile – YA Chit Chat

Up until a couple of weeks ago, my writing was on fire. I couldn’t get enough. It was during this time I stumbled upon a publisher’s shout out for short stories for their upcoming anthology. The story had to be based on a picture prompt they provided. I had one story in the slush pile beneath my bed I thought would work, but after playing with it, I decided to chuck it and write a new one.

I pondered the picture for a couple of months (yes, I said months), not sure of where I wanted to go with it or how I wanted to get there. I couldn’t think of anything to write. The story had to be adult fiction. I write YA. The publisher is known to publish books filled with romance. I don’t do romance (not well anyway). I also knew the planned release date of the anthology and nothing I came up with coincided with the nearby holiday.

Three weeks before the submission deadline, the story came to me and I wrote like a fiend. After tons of beta reads, revisions, more beta reads, more revisions, I finally had something presentable. I submitted.

And now I wait. In the meantime, my motivation to write has all but up and gone. I don’t understand. I have three manuscripts looking at me, begging me to revisit them, and I don’t have the umph to do it. I needed a quick kick in the rump.

I tried taking a walk, bicycling. I ate, but nothing worked, so I headed over to Script Frenzy to get a five-minute writing exercise prompt. Oh heavens. Do I have some weird things to write about today. Thanks, Script Frenzy, for stimulating my creative juices. Check out these whackadoodles:

In a world where mustaches are illegal, a cartographer from the future begins training for a lifetime of piratehood. (this has soooo many possibilities)

Where reality and fantasy intersect, a talking flute tries to break into pro Sumo wrestling.

En route to a llama resort, a disgruntled Yeti is mistaken for Elton John and goes with it. (love this one!)

In a world ruled by chickens, a hooker with a heart of gold discovers a shocking use for spray cheese. (intriguing)

While at a Super Bowl party, a feuding polka band plans a camp-out in a haunted bayou. (this one made me chuckle)

Now you tell me…if I can’t find something to write about with these, there’s something seriously wrong with me. That Yeti and Elton John prompt has me going all over the place. I’m getting visuals of the Yeti jamming to Crocodile Rock when he meets a Rocket Man and says to Good-bye Yellow Brick Road. One day, he meets a Tiny Dancer who is in love with a Pinball Wizard who is filled with Madness….

Gotta go guys. I’ve got Elton on the brain. I don’t know how this will all end up, but I will say this…this prompt Ain’t Gonna Be Easy, and Madness May Take Over, but I’m sure by the end, I’ll be singing Someone Saved My Life Tonight.

Oh, and this has given me an idea for a contest. Stay tuned. Friday I’ll bring on all the details!!

Sir Elton John sued for ‘Nikita’ lyrics (muzicmagazine.com)
Elton John’s New Million Dollar Piano (celebritynetworth.com)

Ready to send out your manuscript? Here are some hints that may help you avoid the slush pile.

– If sending out a hard copy of your manuscript, don’t print it on watermelon, bacon or any other scented paper. The agent’s or publisher’s dog might eat it.

– Don’t submit your manuscript on Monday then call on Wednesday to find out when they’re going to send out the book and movie contract. Wait at least until Thursday in order for them to process your awesomeness and send it to the correct repudiation department.

– Don’t send your friends dressed up as characters from your novel to the agent’s or publisher’s door in order to act out scenes from your book. If you insist on doing something so insanely inventive, at least hire professionals. Make a grand impression. The least you can do is go down in flames to an amazing Broadway-style performance.

– Don’t send your novel about the erotic love affairs of Cat Woman to an agent or publisher who represents books on cat training, unless you want your manuscript to end up as cat litter.

– Don’t claim your novel is a blockbuster, unless of course it is, then I suggest you have Steven Spielberg deliver it in person.

– Don’t address your cover letter to Dear Agent, unless the word “Agent” is followed by 86 or 99, at which point your novel better be about a bungling spy and his pretty sidekick.

– Don’t mention how much your family and beta readers loved your book unless you include at least 5-10 page dissertations on the similarities between your manuscript and the likes of Harry Potter or Twilight. Agents and publishers have nothing better to do with their time than read about how great you are at emulating your favorite author.

– Don’t send sexy photos of yourself, unless you want to end up on the slush pile floor, but that’s a whole other post entirely.

– Don’t be cute and turn your cover letter into a pictorial scrapbook page of what your novel is about. Hieroglyphics are difficult to read.

– Don’t ignore or publicly berate an agent’s or publisher’s advice unless you enjoy being referred to in editorial circles as “the one who shall not be signed.”