“I’m beautiful. I’m worthy.”


We hear every day in the news about kids being bullied.  The shaming and beat downs come from all sides and for all stupid reasons.  And social media doesn’t help. I mean, I was bullied as a kid because I wore glasses and because I wasn’t thin. (I wasn’t fat, either, but I heard it enough to believe I was.).  Even my own brother called me ‘ugly’ almost on a daily basis. But when I was a teen in the ’70s, we didn’t have computers or social media, so the bullying had a short-range effect. Nowadays, social media takes bullying and shaming to a whole different level. I mean, it’s not only confined to your school. It’s nationwide, and people that don’t even know you comment on whatever was posted about you, the victim. Man, that’s just insane. I mean, it’s one thing to deal with 50 kids at a school. It’s something else to be a young kid, especially a girl, and have the whole world viewing your latest fight or bullying saga because someone with a damn cell phone thought it would be cooler to film it and post it on Facebook than it would be to get in between you and the bully and tell the bully where to shove it.

My mom always said to remember the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  Well, I’m here to tell you, words do hurt, and anyone who has ever been bullied will tell you the verbal wounds are worse than the physical ones. They remain etched and burned into your soul forever. No matter how often you try to tell yourself that it’s all bogus, that what they’re telling you are lies, it’s bullcrap.  When you have so many people telling you that you are this way or that way, you begin to doubt your feelings about yourself. Afterall, if 100 people are all saying the same thing, then it must be true, right?

Wrong.

Sad thing is, it took me 50 years before I had the courage to say to the world, “I don’t give a damn what you think of me. I’m beautiful the way I am, and I am worthy.”

50 years, girls, of feeling unworthy, unloved, unwanted. Even now, it is difficult for me to praise myself, for patting myself on the back for a job well done. I’ve been beaten down for so long in my life that my self-praise comes along with a built-in sledgehammer to remind me that I’m not all that special.  Even at my age, I struggle with self-confidence and self-degradation, with the degradation winning out in most cases.  Even as I stare at myself in the mirror and give my self-affirmations every day, there is a voice inside of me that says “who are you trying to kid? You’re not pretty and you’re an ok writer and a suck-ass mom.”  The thing is, I know in my heart of hearts and deep in my soul that I am beautiful in my own way, I’m better than an ok author and I wasn’t, nor am I, a suck-ass mom. In fact, I was a damn good mom who made some crappy mistakes.

But saying it and even writing it doesn’t make me believe it. I mean like really believe it. And I know it’s because I waited too long in my life to tell the world, and more importantly myself, that I am a wonderful, good person who deserves an amazing life because I’m amazing.

So, I’d like to offer up some words to you young people that might come across this blog in search of some wise advice.

Don’t wait until you’re 50 to make a change and start loving yourself. Don’t believe the bullying, the shaming, because you are beautiful and worthy, and you deserve a rich, full life. And more importantly, don’t become your own worst enemy by being your own self-bully.  Start now at your young age by tossing off the negative vibes around you. Find like-minded people who know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Love who you are and what you are. You are unique, a glorious present to the universe. So what if you’re a nerd, or wear glasses, or might pack on a few extra pounds. You have worth. You are amazing and special and are so many more things outside of your peer group’s definition of who they think you should be. Don’t worry about who they think you should be. Who do you  think you should be? That is the question to ask.  Be strong. Be beautiful and be your own cheerleader.  Love yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on ““I’m beautiful. I’m worthy.”

  1. Knowing the experiences I had with bullying in school I told my son that having one good friend trumped a dozen that wouldn’t be there when you needed them. I stumbled across his writings that stated he would have ended his life if it not for his friends. I can only speculate that he saw the sadness in my eyes from the way hus father treated me and it made me unapproachable for comfort.

    I’m happy to say both my son and I are in a good place now and I am his go to person if he needs a hug. He also knows how to make me smile. I don’t know how I made it through my teen years. Social media would have made it infinitely worse. Perhaps I should be thankful that onterent wasn’t a thing for my son until he was in high school.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just don’t understand why people are so mean to each other. I am glad to hear you and your son are in a good place. People don’t understand the scars that are left behind. Yes, we move on, many of us, but we really don’t ever ‘get over it’. Low self-esteem. Depression. Eating disorders. All because so many of us don’t know how to be nice and kind. Pretty sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was bullied throughout school then when I went away to college I discovered to my shock that I’d blossomed. I went through years of thinking too much of myself and then after a disastrous marriage woke up one day to find myself overweight due to meds and nothing special to look at I felt. I went through major depression believing I’d done something to deserve my comeuppance and I suppose I had. Never be too proud of yourself but know enough to give yourself a hug and try and do better than you did. I’m losing weight slowly, but I’m determined to never allow myself to be haughty again. I still remember the girl who was bullied, she wakes up to my mirror every day, with a fresh, kind way of finding forgiveness for all that I was and am.

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  3. Ah, the ugliness of human nature, to put others down because if makes us feel better about ourselves. So wrong.
    Did we all grow up hearing negative messages about ourselves? I’ve heard many from my mother’s generation say it is “wrong” to give too much praise because kids are self-centered and that feeds their pride. I disagree. I think there needs to be a balance.
    And you are an excellent author. And a great friend. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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