My son asked me the other day, “Who are you?” I’d just done something rather insane and idiotic so the question wasn’t meant to be philosophical, but it got me thinking. Who am I, really? Deep down. What makes me tick? So, like any writer would do, I got out a piece of paper and I wrote down the things that make me, well, me. The first five ‘things’ that spewed forth were:
- Animal lover
- Nut case
- Sentimental fool (hey, I cry over Mary Poppins and Edward Scissorhands)
That got me thinking: if I wrote these things down in this order, is this the value I place them in my life? Are these the primary building blocks that define me as a person? What about being a wife? That was like #12 on the list. It didn’t even make the top 10. What does that say about me? Am I condemned to Hell because my faith didn’t top #1? What about ‘being employed’? Am I bringing about bad financial juju because I’m content with working from home as a writer, even though I haven’t seen one cent from anything I’ve written?
Or am I over thinking? Is the placement irrelevant so long as the ‘defining things’ made the list? Or, wait. Here’s another question. Do I see myself as others see me? Would my list match my friend’s or family’s list? Better yet? What difference does it make? Am I defined by their list or mine? Both?
Oh my gosh, finding out who I am is like trying to map out a character in one of my novels…except worse. Geez, I mean, I can create them, mold them, make them be however I want them. I can’t do that with…
Wait. Hold the phone. Shut the front door. I just had a revelation. I’m a writer. Of course I can create me, mold me, make me however I want. What a doofus I am. It’s called free will, Jenny Minny. And why do I care how I appear on anyone else’s list? I’m not in charge of their opinions of me. That would involve gathering an army of minions. I don’t have the energy for that. All that matters is my own list. And here’s something else I learned. It doesn’t matter where any of the ‘things’ fall on my list, because they all make me who I am, and you know what that is? Special. And if you disagree with me, I’ll turn you into a character in my book. Let’s see how you like those apples.
What about you? Do you let others define you or do you define yourself? Do you have an army of minions I can borrow?
10 thoughts on “Oggy Doggie Wednesday”
I love that photo. I need to think of myself as my dog sees me. Wonder woman. Grooming expert. Hugger. Player. Everything I ever wanted.
Yes, I need to believe that I am everything I ever wanted to be.
With that in mind, I trudge forward to make my dreams happen
I started my list with ‘dreamer’ and went on from there, Jenny.
I love the way children ask the most important questions in life 😀
I don’t think of it so much as a list as a bunch of balls I juggle. But, maybe, I put Writer on more than one of the balls. 😉
Yeah, I kind of noticed that one creeping up a lot on my list. 😉
I seemed to figure out who I was…after I retired…I had always been someone’s daughter…someone’s wife…someone’s mother…someone’s employee and all of a sudden…I decided I will be ME for ME!…
I see now what I was meant to do…because I was lead in that path…with large doses of what I thought I should be doing… Not a bad combination!…Accepting oneself for who we are is the best “fireworks” moment… Now I settle in for the ride of the rest of my life!
Sounds pretty good to me! Enjoy the ride. 🙂
Sometime in my mid -30s I realized I was sick of running around trying to meet everyone’s expectations. I sat down at the feet of Jesus and said, “Lord, what do you want me to be?” That revolutionized me and my life.
This is not to say that I have been walking on that path every day since then. I fight depression (medicine and exercise keep it mostly contained) and wonder if I’m good enough. After all, I haven’t published anything yet and that is a dream I’ve had since I was 9.
I do care what my husband and family think of me and I try to love them with actions in ways they find meaningful. They don’t define who I am, though. Neither does my writing, my volunteer work or my overloaded shelf of books. I try to let The Lord show me how to be who He designed me to be.
Thanks for this post. I always feel uplifted after reading your blogs.
Aww, thank you, Sharon. You just made me very happy with that last line. 🙂 I truly get what you’re saying. I wish God would be a bit more transparent in what He wants from us. This hunt and peck and running around like a chicken with its head cut off gets kind of old, even though He’s probably up there laughing. Yes, I do believe we are here for His amusement sometimes. I just wish He’d quit hitting that ‘repeat’ button. 🙂
I started my list with writer. I have so many other things as well and yes, I’m a Believer as well. I think, like you said, it’s just the way things occur to us that we write them down, their definitely not defining as most important. They may be who we are but not what we are. The what defines us. I would say that the what is Believer for me because everything radiates out from that. Love each others as I have loved you. That’s what matters, that we care, even when others do not.
Beautifully said, Traci.