10 Resolutions for 2014


I never make New Year’s resolutions.  Deep down inside, I hate planning and conforming to rules.  I’d much rather fly by the seat of my pants.  Over the years, however, I’ve ‘re-arranged’ myself to look or act a certain way, be a certain way, but it wasn’t ‘me’.  You know what I’m talking about?  I can’t tell you how many times I refused to sing in front of others because I sound like a dying cow, or I don’t smile as much as I should because I have a dorky smile, or I fail to express my childish enthusiasm and run sporadically like Phoebe Buffay because it’s embarrassing to those around me. Well, guess what?  2014 is going to change all that.  Here is a list of 10 things I’m going to do to get back to the real ‘me’:

1.  Eat healthier and get away from this dreadful type 2 diabetes that has been plaguing me for several years.  Yep, I’m going to eat more prebiotic foods like berries, bananas, artichokes, asparagus, onions, garlic, and leafy greens.  Take in more whole foods.  Get thin again and feel good about me.

2.  Exercise more.  #1 and #2 go hand in hand.  Just gotta do it, even if it means going for brisk walks.  I don’t want to die before I’m 55.  Only I can change it.  Now I have to do it.  Who’s with me so far?

3.  Stop expecting people to Realize not everyone will like me, and that’s ok.  No more trying to ‘fit in’, or be what I perceive others want from me. I’m beautiful the way I am with all my  quirkiness and strangeness.  Some may see me as ‘unworthy’, but to others, I’m priceless.  That leaves me all gooey inside. 🙂

4.  Respect myself more than I respect them.  I’m always doing this…telling others how beautiful they are, how proud I am of them, and then turn around and tell myself I’m fat, I’m ugly.  How stupid is that?  Those words are getting a swift kick out the door.  I’m going to trust who I am, believe in my choices and feed off my inner strength.  I’m going to stop putting myself down.  Instead, I’m going to say, “I’m beautiful.  I’m strong and I’m happy in my skin.”  Come on, say it with me – “I’m beautiful.  I’m strong and I’m happy in my skin.”  Don’t you feel better already?  🙂

5.   Accept others for their uniqueness the way I want them to accept me for mine.  Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss,  once said, “Be who you are and say what you mean because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  That’s my mantra from now on.  You love me for me, I love you for you.  It all has to do with that respect thing in #4.

6.  Understand I can’t change people (or allowing others to change me).  We are all unique with special gifts and talents.  If I can’t accept someone’s behaviors or habits, then I will need to change my relationship to it, not ask them to change for me, and vice versa.

7.  Allow myself to be happy.  Enough with the envious thoughts, the thinking I don’t do enough or if I’d only done something better.  Enough with holding my feelings hostage, pretending they don’t exist or don’t matter.  Follow my inner calling of being a writer and working with animals. Express myself.  Live.

8.  Those all too familiar words:  “Never mind.  It’s not important” that comes out of my mouth all the time?  They’re going away because if I’m feeling it, if I’m experiencing it, it’s important.  A great deal of unhappiness and confusion and feelings of betrayal comes from not saying what we feel.  I need to be brave and say what I think and what I feel.  There’s no greater sadness than holding on to words I never had the courage to speak.

9.  I will do whatever I can to not focus on the bad, but put all my thoughts into the good.  This is a difficult one for me and one that I will strive to fix.  I’ve suffered from depression my entire life.  I tried to commit suicide at the age of 18.  Yep, that’s a whole different blog post right there.  I’ve been in toxic relationships all my life and have pretty much lost who I am because of my need to fit in, be accepted, believing that acting a certain way would make someone love me more.  All it’s done is lead me to the place where I am today.  Someone I don’t even know recently directed me to a podcast by Joel Osteen’s on how we cannot be defeated.  You can listen to it here if you choose.  Anyway, it made me realize I’ve allowed myself to be defeated.  I’m the one amplifying the problems because I’ve dwelled on them and made them bigger than they need to be.  I lost my faith in God, in life, in everything around me.  This unknown angel (and a few others) brought me back to my faith, to the God I truly do believe in, and I know now He has a hand on my heart and I’m graced in His favor.  I trust in His guiding light.  I will not be defeated.

10.  Finish my dadburn novels!  They’ve been sitting here waiting, screaming at me to finish, but I have been filled with so much self-doubt, so much depression, so much hurt, I couldn’t focus.  2014 is the year.  3 novels are going down this year. I’m also going to get an agent and get my dream publisher.  I know 2014 is going to be a great year as I already have one publishing credit to announce in the next couple of months.  I’ve squandered my gifts for far too long.  It’s time to listen to my heart and my soul. What about you?

IT’s Your turn…

What does your New Year’s resolution list look like?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

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12 thoughts on “10 Resolutions for 2014

    1. Aww, thanks. So far, so good in 2014. I know I also intend to laugh more, worry less. Why do that to myself? Good luck with your new year and keep us posted on how you’re getting on. 🙂

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  1. I don’t make resolutions; I set goals. This year I’m doing a monthly goal sheet in several different categories. #2 and #10 from your list are right there on my first month’s goal sheet. I’m doing a post on my blog about this on Friday. I will link mine back here so you can see my strategies.
    As for letting other people dictate to us, I think many women have this problem. We pour ourselves into our husbands and children and become drained when no one gives back to us. I wish I had all the answers but I don’t. I try to keep myself plugged into The Lord because He is the true vine who can nourish my mind, heart and spirit so I can continue being the loving, creative individual He made me to be – for His glory.
    Love reading your blogs and short stories. Finish the novels so I can read them too!

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    1. Thank you, Sharon, for your lovely thoughts. I can’t wait to read your blog re setting your goals. I know with God on our side, we will succeed. What I have to remind myself is that it will be in His time, not ours. Kind of tough lesson for this little mortal to remember. Not sure about anyone else. 🙂 All I know is I’m glad I know people like you. Each of you make my world a little brighter. Thank you.

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  2. Your list starts well, but so many of the later items come down to “I’ll stop…” May I suggest a change of verb tense? “I will…” I will forgive myself for small failures. I will give as much as I can to others, but no more. I will believe in myself and trust my muse.

    PS, I think we all have your tenth resolution, every year. Just a different novel. 🙂

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  3. Wonderful list, Jenny. I felt every word in my heart. I understand. I really do. It’s difficult to make the shifts needed for change when we don’t have the tools to do it. Would love to connect with you via phone. I had the most awesome, awesome, awesome LOA coach for 12 mos. I didn’t care about how much it was. I just knew I was at a place in my life where I wasn’t happy and didn’t know how to fix it. I also knew I was in transition; that God had placed Kelly into my life for a reason. I am not the same person that I was 16 mos ago. I would like to shed the Light that I was taught to others so that they can understand themselves on a soul level and make the changes. Know that you are an amazing human being who changed my life when I read your story on Midlife. Know that God has a purpose for you. Know that all is well, Jenny. It really is. Let me know if you want to connect via phone. Thank you for your honesty. It took alot of courage to do so. Blessings to you.

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    1. Thank you my dear. This was such an easy post to write because it came from me. I didn’t have to ponder or think about what to say or how to say it. That’s how I’m going to fly from now on. Just be me. It’s wonderful and freeing. 🙂 I’d love to connect by phone after the 1st of the year. Really super busy before then with edits and beta reads and some other things I’ve committed to. E-mail me your # and we’ll set up a time to connect on a more personal basis. 🙂

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