Happy Mother’s Day to my moms


I’ve never done this before so I’m going to do it now.

I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to my moms – my birth mother and my adoptive mother.

To my birth mom:  I never knew you.  I don’t know what you look like; if you’re alive or dead.  I’m not sure if I have brothers or sisters.  I don’t know my medical history.  I do know your name, I know how old you were when you had me and I know you loved me enough to give me away to a family who could care for me when you could not.  You loved me enough to specify what sort of family had to adopt me:  an American military family with at least one sibling was on the top list of your priorities.  It was important to you I grow up educated, well-traveled and you knew my middle-class family could take care of me and provide me with the lifestyle you wished for me.  Thank you for giving birth to me, and giving me to a family who loved me and cared for me as if I was their own.

To my adoptive mom:  I love you and I miss you terribly.  When you passed away five years ago, I lost a friend, a confidant, my mom in every sense of the word.

I know there were times when I was growing up I made your life hell.  I know there were many times you cursed me, but never to my face.  There were 1000 times and more we didn’t see eye to eye, but I always knew I could talk to you.  I always knew you loved me.  I’d rather fight with you now, than not have you at all.  There are still times I reach for the phone and say, “I have to call Mama,” but you’re not here.  I wish you were.  I’d give anything to hear your voice once more.  To tell you how much I love you.

You gave me some wonderful memories, Mama, and you were always my biggest champion even when, all those years ago, I didn’t think you were.  I see it now.  You were always there to lend a hand, wipe a tear, offer a shoulder to cry on, and  listen when I needed someone to vent to.  Thank you for caring for me during all the rough times including the rounds of measles and chicken pox.  You taught me about sex, tampons and the importance of yearly exams.  I wish I’d listened to your advice on men.  Then again, if I had, I may not have my beautiful kids.

Thank you for giving me a love of reading and writing, for animals, and for life.   Thank you for carting me around to all my school functions, the doctors, and for humming in the shower.  You always made me smile when I heard you hum in the shower.  Thank you for taking me all over Germany when I was little and showing me all the cities and sites.  Because of you, I have an insatiable need to travel and experience different cultures and foods.  I also developed a love for castles.  I wonder if that could be because you took me to see so many.

Thank you for buying Elvis Presley concert tickets 3 times and taking me to see him.  You knew how much I loved his voice and music.  Thank you for being there when Daddy died.  I knew it was hard on you but you always had a hug and time for me when I needed to cry.  Thank you for traveling all over downtown Atlanta looking for majorette costumes and taking me to fittings.  Thank you for giving me Daddy, my brother and an amazing home and life.  I’m sorry we fought when I was younger.  I didn’t realize how blessed I was.  I do now.

If you can see me now, Mama, I’d like to take this time to say I’m sorry for all the grief and heartache I put you through.  I wish I could hug you one more time and tell you how much I love you and need you.  Please know I will always hold you close to my heart, and there isn’t a day I don’t think of you.  Even though you are  not with me physically, you remain my rock, my shield…my mom.  I will always love you.

Public domain image, royalty free stock photo from www.public-domain-image.com
I remembered your favorite, Mama. 🙂
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17 thoughts on “Happy Mother’s Day to my moms

  1. You brought a tear to my eye, too, with this lovely tribute to both your moms. I miss my mom, gone 8 years, now, but there are still times, like you, that I forget and want to call her to tell her about something in my life. I think all teenage girls give their moms a bit of grief – it comes with the territory, I guess. I’m sure your mom knew how much you loved her, despite any trouble you may have caused. 🙂

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    1. Moms are very special. There is no other relationship like it. My oldest daughter, who is now a mom, spent her weekend camping with her daughter and whale watching (hopefully). My youngest daughter went for a walk in the NC mountains and called me from her ‘backyard’. My oldest son wrote me a poem that touched my heart. My youngest son gave me a beautiful pair of hummingbird earrings. He knows how much I love hummingbirds. My hubby had intentions of taking me to the beach for sunset, but he was in too much pain. I told him I’d take a rain check when he felt better. I had lunch with my extended family. All in all, I had an absolutely wonderful day. I felt so much love around me today. It will be a Mother’s Day I will treasure for a very long time.

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      1. We had a mixed biirthday / Mother’s Day celebration last night with the youngest son who has all of the kids…it was my youngest Granddaughter’s 11th Birthday…
        Gift card for toes and nails…yes!…with flip flops already on…I loved it!… and the other son …washing and detailing my car when he’s ver being sick…what more could I ask…Love them to pieces!
        we are lucky ladies!

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  2. What a beautiful tribute, Jenny! My mom passed nine years ago, and Mother’s Day is always a bit sad for me. Like you, I’m grateful for my own beautiful children. I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day with yours.

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  3. Aww, this brought a tear to my eye! One of my closest friends who I’ve known for 30 years was adopted. When she was in her twenties, her adoptive parents died, and the rest of her adoptive family completely disowned her saying she wasn’t a blood relative and so they had no reason to keep her in the family now! So she set about tracing her birth mother and found her, and now has a wonderful relationship with her birth mother, and her two brothers who she also then discovered – I was so pleased for her; even though she misses her adoptive parents so much, she’s so grateful to have her birth family in her life!

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  4. Awww … Jenny, this is so real, so beautiful … you made me cry, and my heart aches for you. Even though time eventually dulls the sharpest pain, when we lose those we love, a part of us goes with them – and their memory stays with us forever. Sending you love and gentle hugs ~ Julie xox

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