What would hump day be without a few fantasy jokes and funny one-liners to get us through the day? Just remember to smile; it increases your face value. 🙂
“May the dragon of life only burn your hot dog and never your buns.”
“If you can’t take the heat, don’t tickle the dragon.”
Two high elves are sitting in a bar and in walks a dwarf woman.
The woman orders a martini and starts to eat the olives when she suddenly finds herself choked.
Trying to be the hero, one of the elves jumps up, grabs her trousers, yanks them down and runs his tongue across her buttocks.
The dwarf woman spits out the olive and screams “how disgusting”.
The elf says “whats wrong, haven’t you heard of the hiney-lick manuever.”
A dwarf was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive elf neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the dwarf was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the dwarf asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
A dwarf, an elf, and a half-orc were shipwrecked on a deserted island. There they find a forgotten temple. They make their way to the alterroom where they find a magical ring of wishes.
The dwarf grabs the ring and says “Great! Now I can get home! I wish I was back in the tavern at home surrounded by ale“!
*poof* he’s gone!
The elf grabs the ring and says “Finally, I can go home! I wish I was in the tree city, trading tales with the finest poets of our age!“
*poof* he’s gone!
The half-orc picks up the ring and says “I’m lonely now. I wish the other two guys were back here.“
- Neil Finn Pens Dwarf Song For ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’ (spinner.com)
- Mordor, the Land of Funny