Procrastination and friends


I have a confession to make, and it’s not one I’m proud of.  Over the past year, Procrastination and I have become very good friends.  I didn’t want it to happen.  It just sort of showed up in the form of Pity and Sympathy.  I think Depression let it in and before I knew it, they were all having a party, and I was the unwilling host.  I got drunk on their lies, believing I could put life on hold while I tried to figure out the meaning of my life. Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do?

Everyone around me told me to keep swimming, but the words of my new friends were too convincing, their arms too strong.  Procrastination and Depression were the worst.  “Why keep swimming, little fish?  You’re in a tiny bowl with nowhere to go.  You’ll always be in a tiny bowl with nowhere to go.  Chill.  Take a break. We’re here to keep you company.”  Then Pity and Sympathy would chime in with their chorus, “We understand what it’s like to feel all alone, to feel like a failure to yourself, your family, your friends.  It’s okay to take a sabbatical from life.  After all, what good fortune has life bestowed upon you of late?”

Yes, Procrastination and friends found a weak little fish, and they made themselves right at home.  What none of us were counting on was Determination and Pride showing up.

November 1 they came, dressed in armor of defiance and wielding swords of truth.  “Get up!” they said to me.  “Stop wallowing!  Stand with us to rid these freeloaders from your soul!  You may be a battered little fish in a tiny bowl, but right next to you is a giant ocean waiting for you.  All you have to do is leap.”

For the first time in months, this little fish opened her eyes, swam through the sludge in the water, and saw the magnificence and grandeur waiting for me.  I grew angry at Procrastination, Depression, Pity and Sympathy who now cowered in a corner.  Arming myself with Determination and Pride, I grabbed them one by one and cast the from my soul.  Strength and power surged through me.  Faster and faster I swam until I made myself dizzy…and then I leapt.  A smile stretched across my face.  “I did it!  I did it!  I’m free!!!”

Now, I’m swimming in bigger waters and I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision, but when I look back at that tiny bowl with all its limitations, I have no doubts.  I may get chased by bigger fish.  My life in this new world may not be perfect, but I know one thing…I’ll never go back to that dark place anymore.  I’m armed now, and I’ve got some serious swimming to do.  Are you coming along with me? Race ya!

 

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17 thoughts on “Procrastination and friends

  1. Wonderful post Jenny, I think most everyone has been there at some point. I’m glad to hear that Determination and Pride are with you and you are fighting back at the others!

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  2. Oh Jenny, I have so been there and understand some of what you’ve been going through – huge kudos to you for taking that leap to freedom! Yes, the seas may get deep and stormy at times; but there are endless depths to be explored, new experiences to help us grow stronger, and heart-stopping beauty to make our souls sing! This little fish is honored to swim awhile with you on your new journey! 🙂 xoxox

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  3. Did you know that a fish will grow bigger when placed in a larger environment? As example, my brother-in-law, who loves exotic pets, was given a goldfish that a friend fished out of a local creek. It must have been ‘flushed’ at some point and had grown to an enormous size about 18 inches long! So, to continue you fish analogy, GROW, Little Fish! Spread you fins and swim your heart out! 🙂

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