Can you hit a perfect pitch contest

The fabulous Brenda Drake is at it again with another fantastic contest.  This time the grand prize is a request to read more of your novel by the amazing agent, Ammi-Joan Paquette.

Here are the details, as copied from Brenda’s site:

Here’s how the contest is going down …
On January 15th post a two sentence pitch (no more than 35 words) along with the first 150 words (if it falls in the middle of a sentence, go to the end of that sentence) of your finished Young Adult orMiddle Grade manuscript to your blogs. From January 15th-16thhop around each others’ blogs and critique or praise them. Revise your entries, if you want, and post them by 8:00am (EST) January 17th to the official entry post. DO NOT POST THEM TO THIS POST. If you want, you may skip the blogfest/critique portion of this contest and just enter the contest.  I will have the official post up, along with details on how to format your entries, on January 15th so that you can start posting when you’re ready. To participate, sign up on the linky below.You want to know the prizes? The prize (or prizes) is a request to read more from agent, Ammi-Joan Paquette. I’m crossing my fingers for all of you. Have I told you how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE this agent? Okay, well, I can’t say it enough! I totally ❤ her!
Here is my entry:

Title:  In the Shadow of the Dragon King

Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 87,000
Pitch:     A seventeen- year old boy is thrust into a magical world, awakens an evil threat and sparks a war.  His salvation:  embrace his destiny, even if it means risking the life of his best friend.

First 150:

David Heiland sketched the final details on the cat-like eyes staring back at him.  Just like in his nightmares, the dragon clung to the castle’s battlement, a body clutched in one talon. Small horns jutted from the top of the creature’s head and two leather-like whiskers protruded from both sides of its snout. Crouched in the shadow of a turret were a man and a woman. Their arms were raised like shields above their heads, terror etched into their eyes and mouths.

Charlotte leaned in from behind, her arms folded across his shoulders. “Wow, talk about a major creep out.  I can’t get over how real it looks.” She kicked off her shoes and climbed into the center of the carved, four-poster bed. “Who are the people?”

“My parents,” David said, examining his work.  “You know, it’s funny.  When I was little, all I ever dreamed was for them to be alive, and someday they would walk through the door and all would be right with the world.”


Good luck to everyone!  What a great contest.

5 thoughts on “Can you hit a perfect pitch contest

  1. Your pitch is great! You know who the MC is, what the conflict is and what’s at stake. Perfect. The excerpt is well written and I would definitely read on. The only suggestion I have is to add a little tension somehow. Great job!


  2. It’s really good, you draw me in instantly – one tiny note: I would start it off describing the drawing as if it was really happening, then pull back by telling us David is making it come to life in his imagination.


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