Adult Content! Absolute Write May Blog Chain – This month’s prompt : Relationships


This month’s theme for the blog chain is relationships. Not speaking of romantic relationships, but the relationships between fictional characters.

The purpose of this blog chain is to:

“Show a character’s approach to relationships in a short scene. A harmless exchange between mother and daughter? A submissive character overwhelmed by a dominant partner? A passionate lover’s quarrel? A forlorn, unrequited letter?

Use your characters’ interaction to show the dynamics of their relationship, show how they’re growing together or growing apart, or just have silly fun. Character descriptions at the beginning are forbidden this time around–let them speak or act for themselves!”

The following is an excerpt from a murder/mystery novel I started several years ago and has been sitting on the back burner until I grow tired of writing YA fantasy.  The scene is harsh, violent and sexual so if any of this bothers you, please do not read.  Otherwise, read away.

***

Emily sipped her coffee and walked toward the breakfast nook, newspaper open to the crossword puzzle, her pencil tucked behind her ear.  Ben’s voice startled her as she stepped into the room.

“Morning,” he said

When had he gotten out of bed?  She had tried to be so quiet!  “Good morning,” Emily said, trying hard to mask her disappointment at finding him there.  “I thought you went back to sleep.”

His fingers drummed the glass tabletop.  His green eyes bore through her like a hot knife through butter.  “I tried to but all I could think of was your trip today.  I guess you’re still excited about it, huh?”  The drumming continued with the annoyance of a dripping faucet.

“Yes, I am.  Thank you for understanding how much I need this.” 

Ben clasped his hands behind his head.  “But that’s just it, Emily.  I don’t understand why you’re going.  You know damn good and well I don’t approve and yet you’re going anyway.” 

“Ben, we’ve been over this a million times.  I need to find the woman you fell in love with.  I want to be the way I was before.  I want us to be the way we were before.”

“You don’t need to go to California for that.”     

“Well, maybe not, but that’s where I’m going.  It’s a great opportunity for me to see new places, experience new things in my life.  Do you want to keep me in this cage for the rest of my life?”

“I want you to stay where the hell you belong, and that’s here with me and Mitch.” 

“I’m sure you and Mitch can manage without me for five days.  I really do need to get away—”

“From me?” Ben interrupted. “You think I don’t know what’s going on?” 

“What are you talking about?”  

“Goddamn it, Emily, don’t play that innocent bullshit game with me!”  He slammed his hands on the table.  “Who is he?”

“Who is who?  What are you talking about?”

He stood so quickly his chair toppled over.  “The ass you’re shacking up with.  Who is he?”

“I’m not shacking up with anybody!”

“Stop lying to me!”

“I’m not lying to you!  Jesus, Ben.  When in the hell do I have time to fool around on you?  You won’t let me out of your sight.  I’ve pretty much been a prisoner in this damn house for five years.  You’re always watching me like a hawk.  You won’t let me work.  I’m always here when you call.  I’m here every night.” 

“Fuck you, Emily!  You’ve had plenty of time to screw around on me.  Now you’re bitchy little friend is tagging along to make it seem the two of you are just going off on vacation!”

“Don’t you dare bring Kit into this!  She has nothing to do with it.”   

“It has EVERYTHING to do with her!  She’s been putting ideas in your head about me, trying to get you to leave me for a long time now.  I’ve read her fucking letters to you.  You can’t deny it!”

“You’ve read my letters?  Who in the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m your husband, damn it!”  Ben’s eyes were glowing like hot embers.  “And I have every right to know what’s going on in that stupid little head of yours!  But, what I don’t understand is who in the hell would want you.  Look at you.  You’re old.  You’re fat!  You’ve got nothing going for you!” 

Emily slammed the mug down on the table.  “Fuck you Ben!”  Hot coffee spilled over the brim and burned her hand.  “I know what you’re trying to do.  You’re trying to break me, trying to make me stay.  Well, it’s not going to work this time!  And I’d appreciate it if you’d stop yelling.  You’re going to wake up Mitch!  He doesn’t need to hear you bantering on.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck if he hears it or not!  He needs to know what kind of mother you are!  He needs to know that you don’t love his father anymore!” 

“Oh, for God’s sake, why are you being so paranoid?”

“Oh, so now I’m being paranoid.  How fucking convenient for you ISN’T IT!”  A spray of spit hit her face.  Emily flinched. “And why do you do that, you little bitch?  Have I ever hit you?”  He came around to her side of the table and grabbed a hold of her shoulders, digging his nails into her skin, his face red with anger.  “Answer my goddamn question!  Have I ever fucking laid a hand on you?”  He pushed her down into the window seat and, to her horror, unzipped his pants.

“No,” Emily’s said trembling, her arms holding her knees against her chest.  The two-day old bruise on her thigh screamed out as a reminder to not contradict him. 

“I didn’t hear you Emily!” 

“No,” she said slightly louder.  Her voice quivered. 

“No, I haven’t.”  He pushed her all the way down on the bench seat, one hand holding her down, the other unzipping her jeans.

“Ben…oh God…please don’t….” 

He bent his head close to her face, ripped her jeans away and spread her legs. 

“Ben…I beg of you…please…don’t…”

His voice became low, calm, twisted.  “I’ve been damn good to you, Emily.”  He rammed himself into her.  “So, you tell me, why are you going three thousand miles away from me unless you’ve found someone else!”  Another shove and then another.   “And stop your fucking crying.  It doesn’t work on me anymore.” 

Emily choked on her own phlegm building up in her throat and nose.

“I’m waiting.”  His green eyes blazed like emeralds in a flame, his hands painfully grabbing and squeezing her breasts, his knees on her hands.

“I…don’t…know.”  She couldn’t speak; the pain was unbearable.  He began to thrust harder, pulling her hair. 

“Are you sure you don’t know, Emily?  I’d think about that answer if I were you.”  He reached over his shoulder and picked up her coffee from the table, barely warm at this point, and threw it in her face.

“There is nobody else, Ben” she sobbed.  “Please believe me!  You’re hurting me…”  The tears continued to come.

He rolled her off the bench onto the cold, hard tile, pressing her face to the floor, and entered her violently from behind, holding down her arms, thrusting madly, taking everything he could from her before he finished.  He leaned over her back and wrapped his fingers around her throat.

“I better not find out that you’ve been lying to me, Emily,” he bit her earlobe, “because if I do, what happened just now is going to seem like a fucking walk in the park.  Have I made that quite clear, baby?”    

She nodded.

“I want to hear you say it, Emily.”  Ben grabbed her hair, pulling her head back.  “Do you understand me?”

“I understand, Ben” she said through her tears.

“Who do you love, baby?”   He kissed her cheek.

“You, Ben.” 

He released her and stood, throwing her clothes back at her.  “Get dressed. You’re a disgrace.”  He picked up the newspaper from the floor and walked past her, kicking the garbage can toward her.  The contents spilled across the floor.  “And don’t forget to clean up this mess.” 

She waited for him to leave the room before she melted into a heap of silent sobs. 

***

Please make sure you visit the following participant’s blogs or website:

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month’s post)
Proach – http://desstories.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
Yoghurtelf – http://thefarseas.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
AuburnAssassin – http://clairegillian.com (link to this month’s post)
aimeelaine – http://www.aimeelaine.com/blog (link to this month’s post)
Della Odell – http://dellaodell.wordpress.com/

jkellerford – ME! https://jennykellerford.wordpress.com
juniper – http://www.katjuniper.com (link to this month’s post)
Steam&Ink – http://steamandink.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)
LadyMage – http://www.katherinegilraine.com/ (link to this month’s post)
pezie – http://www.erinbrambilla.com/ (link to this month’s post)
xcomplex – http://arielemerald.blogspot.com/ (link to this month’s post)

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26 thoughts on “Adult Content! Absolute Write May Blog Chain – This month’s prompt : Relationships

  1. Damn! All I wanted to do was slam his head against the nearest wall. I agree with Aimee, but yeah I could not stop reading.

    She needs to get out, now.

    Like

  2. Oh Emily, run! Run to California! And stay there. But take Mitch with you. And I don’t think Kit is safe either. Ben will hunt you all down. 😦

    The mindset of an abused spouse is hard to understand. Emily must feel so trapped.

    Like

  3. Wow. Very intense. I had the same thoughts as Claire about reconciling when Emily said she wanted to be the way she was before (and them the way they were before) with how the scene ended. Claire’s WIIFM explanation of it makes sense to me now.

    You handled the scene very well. Very emotional.

    Like

    1. great question, Diane. Ben has never done anything to hurt Mitch. Ever. Mitch is his pride and joy to mold and shape. That’s why Emily believes Mitch will be safe with his daddy.

      She’s wrong. Dead wrong. 🙂

      Like

  4. A real contrast to what we’ve seen so far: a powerfully negative relationship. Well done if a little harrowing. And no need to worry about the bad swears; compared to some of the actions, the language seemed almost low-key.

    Like

  5. So as soon as I knew what was coming, I had to skim. I am the sort that prefers sexual violence ‘off-camera’ (just so you know – totally not your fault), but the build up in getting to that point was very intense and the emotions poured into it were, too. So, there I have to say great job. 🙂

    Like

    1. thanks Aimee!!! 🙂

      I’ve been telling everyone about your new book. Drumming up lots of excitement from my end. I’m going to promote it some more at the writer’s group on Tuesday night!!

      Like

  6. Yikes. I had some reconciling to do when she first said she needed to find the woman he originally fell in love with then switches over to “you keep me in a cage”. I guess she’s at first trying the WIIFM (what’s in it for me) approach to appeasing him then when that fails, she falls back into a tamped down form of resistance, then into full on defensive mode where the abusive groove is apparently pretty deep.

    Very emotionally gripping read.

    Like

  7. Thanks, Dale! It’s disturbing and yet encouraging to hear such positive feedback over something I wrote that is so dark and menacing. Thank you for your comments. 🙂

    Like

  8. Wow… that was emotionally dark and disturbing. What makes it that way is the realism. The way the dialogue was handled. It is so easy in scenes like this to go over the top, become cliche, but you avoided those pitfalls.
    Well done!

    Like

  9. Thanks, Julie. This novel is steeped in dark, disturbing horrors. I think that’s why I put it aside for so long. It’s just so twisted in a macabre sort of way. I’m sure I’ll come back to it full force some day. It’s been calling me and I have revisited it several times, mostly re-writing the passionate, loving sex scenes.

    Like

  10. This is very powerful, Jen, and mightily disturbing. It seems almost two-tongued to say nice job about something that left me feeling a little overwhelmed in a negative way, but that you achieved that suggests you hit the nail on the head. 🙂

    Like

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