Do you have a passion you love to engage yourself in only to have others, including your evil, innerself, tell you you’re wasting your time?
I, myself, am a writer and author. I love to write. I always have and always will. Thankfully, I’ve had encouragment all of my life with my writing. Many people (teachers, authors, agents) have told me I should be an author but we all know how life goes and, well, dreams sometimes get put on the backburner. Now that I’m older, I’m pursuing those dreams and will soon have my first novel published (when I find an agent). Yay me!! 🙂 But it did not come without great sacrifice, not only my sacrifices but my family sacrificed a lot, too. I never would have made it if it hadn’t been for them.
But even with all this support and pats on the back and positive critiques and feedback, there is still that part of me that argues with and berates me. Writing makes people vulnerable. It opens you to public criticism, ridicule and rejection. I suppose any artist feels the same when it comes to pursuing their craft but I can only speak about what I know.
Writing my novel has been an arduous adventure to say the least, and there were many times I questioned myself. Many times I wondered ‘Why am I doing this?’ ‘This is a waste of time.’ And yet something deep inside tugged at me, kept me moving forward through all the edits and re-writes, all the self-doubt. How can this longing be percieved as a waste of time? A mistake? Who am I to tell myself not to do what my heart and soul loves and craves? My desire to share my words, even if it is with one person, is what carries me on. To know my words are out there in the universe, no longer mine, is something indescribable to me. To leave behind something of me that will last forever is an incredible feeling. In a sense, it borders immortality. Somewhere in time, maybe a hundred years from now, maybe longer, someone will pick up my novel and read it. The thought blows my mind.
I wonder, as an artist, have you ever been tempted to throw in the towel? Have you ever wanted to give up on your passion? Has anyone told you to stick to your day job? Did you listen? What keeps you motivated to keep trudging ahead and not give up on your dream?