A realm broken by murder
A boy who stands to lose everything
In the world of Estaria, the realm of Fallhollow is crumbling. An elusive shadow — invisible to the magical sight of the mages — moves stealthily inside her borders, committing unspeakable acts of terror. The mages consult the ancient laws. The paladin and the heir to the coveted throne of Hirth, both unaware of their true identities, must unite to protect those harboring the power to save the realm from annihilation. An envoy is dispatched to the outside world. The waiting begins.
In Havendale, Tennessee, David Heiland — honor student, track star and sole heir to a multi-million dollar estate — leads a normal teenage life with his godmother, Lysbeth Perish. But when a letter arrives from his dead mother, David’s life becomes anything but normal. Within days, David and his best friend, Charlotte Stine, are taken from Havendale and placed in the protective custody of the sorceress, Slavandria, queen of the Southern Forest and guardian of Fallhollow.
But David’s arrival in Fallhollow awakens Einar, a second, more feared enemy of the realm, an enemy no one, not even the mages, can kill.
Until now.
With a sworn promise by Slavandria to help him find his parents and return Charlotte home, David agrees to fulfill his destiny and pair with the heir to the throne of Hirth. Under the reluctant but protective care of Sir Trogsdill, a knight of Hirth, David, Charlotte, and four fairies set off on their perilous journey across Fallhollow toward Gyllen Castle — a quest that will bring David even closer to the truth about his family, their ties to Fallhollow and an alliance that has existed for two hundred years.
This is really, really good Jen, I love the quote to open, its a really clever technique.
I wonder about length though, how long is this in a word document, because I’m sure synopses has to be under two A4 pages, though it might be different across the pond
I think you have really nice pace here, you’re showing us enough without going into too many details.
Really great job!
This actual work is 4 pages. there are two agents I’m targeting who state that, if they ask for a partial, they want it accompanied by a 3 – 5 page synopsis. That was my goal.
Thank you so much for the feedback. I’m really happy with this but just want some comments to make sure I’m on the right path.
What would I cut for a two pager?
I liked it and I’m sure my daughter would enjoy it. As with the other one, it sounds like an entertaining read – but I thought it was a little long for a synopsis as well. On the other hand, I’m used to synopsis requests that state that they want something 1-2 pages in length (sometimes 1-3). If the request is for something this long, then it does seem appropriate. If you were to cut it to two pages, I think there’s a few areas with more detail than you need for a shorter synopsis, and some descriptive words that could be left out. I’ve had requests for a synopsis in chapter by chapter point form before, and I found it a great basis for a regular synopsis. It forced me to be brief, and then it was just a matter of rewriting it with proper flow.
Thank you, Chantal. Your comments are more than appreciated. I have a two-pager as well, but it’s really bare boned and doesn’t sound ‘interesting’. I’ll see if I can cut this one down to accomodate our illustrious editors and agents needs for a 1 – 2 pager and leave this one as is.
You’re awesome. Thanks.
Yeah if you have another two pager and this is meant to be this length then I would say leave this as it is. It flows really well, tells enough and is really interesting!!
Based on what you wrote here, I would pick up this book. I think the content is neither too long or too short. Every line holds importance and I see why you included it. I am rooting for this book!
Thank you, Cara. That means a lot to me after a round of rejection letters.