A dear friend of mine recently told me about a conversation she had with her therapist. During that conversation, my friend expressed how much she’d always been there for others, how she’d always taken care of them, sheltered them from harm, picked up the pieces of their broken hearts and given them a shoulder to cry on. Now, when she needs the same, no one is there for her and she’s hurt and angry.
She said the therapist nodded and sympathized over the lack of human compassion. She understood my friend’s grievances. What she couldn’t understand was why my friend failed to treat and love herself the same as she did others. Why was she looking outside for the strength that lay within?
For days afterwards I pondered this thought. Why is it, I asked myself, do we treat others better than we treat ourselves? Aren’t we just as important as those around us?
My heart and mind answered with a resounding “YES!” (Oh, Lord, I think I just heard my mother turn over in her grave).
No, Mom, I’m not talking about being self-centered. I’m talking about being self-aware. It’s about praising yourself for a job well done, to be proud of an accomplishment. It’s about being kind to yourself, to love who you are, even with all your flaws. It’s about pursuing your dreams with the same vigor you use to encourage others. It’s about realizing your own self-worth.
I read a quote once that said something like” “Life is the gift God gave to you. What you do with it is your gift to God.”
It has taken me a long time to realize I have an abundance of self-worth, however realizing it and believing it are two different things. I still doubt myself, my inner voice. I still question my decisions. I berate myself for my stellar accomplishments, convincing myself ‘it’s’ never good enough. Most of all, I tend to believe other’s opinions of me over my opinions of myself.
2013 will be different.
Every day will be a day of affirmation. Every day I will show respect for my inner-self. Every day I will honor myself for a job well done, no matter how big or how small. Every day I will cherish the life given to me and do my best to grow into the person I want to be. Every day I will dance to the music of life. Why do I choose to do these things? Because I deserve nothing less.
What about you? What do you deserve?
Related articles
- Depression: My Story and How to Cope with It (yourmotherssoup.wordpress.com)
- human qualities (christianrward.wordpress.com)
- where to start. (dispatchesfromthedesert.wordpress.com)
- How to Discover Our Core Gifts Within Our Wounds (psychologytoday.com)
- Is Perception Everything? The Answer is Yes and No (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
Wow, Jenny! Awesome blog! Whenever we’re upset about someone or something, it’s a red flag that it’s not really about the other person or situation. It’s about something inside of us that we’re not fulfilling within ourselves. I have 10 things listed that I like about myself and they’re taped next to my bathroom mirror. I am reading them aloud every day. I wish to attract in my life that which is inside of me. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve made a list, too, of 10 things I say to myself every day. Slowly, it’s working on building the confidence I’ve lost. Good luck with your goals and come back to let us know how you’re doing with them.
Wow, what a lovely inspiring post!
I think sometimes in life it’s easier to look for comfort and acceptance from other people but they only provide temporary satisfaction. Looking at yourself this way may be harder but in the long run will make us happier. I love it
What you said is so true. While we all need human interaction and love, hugs, we have to love who we are first before anyone else will. sometimes that’s a hard pill to swallow.
I also fall into this self-condemnation trap. Perhaps it’s because I have such high ideals and a competitive nature that I never seem to measure up.
Thanks for the reminder that in God’s eyes we all have the same value. After all, He paid the same price for each of us.
I hear you. I need to get over this striving for perfection. There is no such thing among mortals. I simply need to be me. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Positive affirmations.
Great post, Jenny! I’m another perfectionist with a very vocal inner critic – something I’m working on trying to change as well this year. I won’t call this a New Year’s Resolution, because I’m really crappy at keeping those … lol. Nope, this is simply an attitude adjustment to being kinder to and more accepting of myself as I am – just as much as I would be with anyone else. As someone once said, “I deserve nothing less!” Tee hee. Have a great day!
It’s so hard to be focused on self because we are always taught to not focus on ourselves but others. Old habits are hard to break but this is one I intend on busting the walls on. Good luck to you. We’ll be Rah Rah partners, ok, special lady?
You betchya!
xoxox
Hi Jenny, I love your post! It really sums up the foundation for what I do. I am a certified Law of Attraction coach, teaching others about how our energy vibration attracts back matching energy vibrations in the form of people, circumstances, and events. This means that our outer reality is a direct reflection of our inner reality. So feeling good about ourselves is crucial in attracting good things into our lives. Now that you are really focusing on nurturing yourself in this powerful way, you will be allowing so much more abundance, joy, and love to flow to you. I celebrate you for making the commitment to love and honor yourself. You are awesome!!
Aww shucks. You made me smile really big!
thanks for stopping by.
Excellent dear! So many people don’t see themselves as God sees them; when they do it changes everything.
Yes it does.
Wow. Powerful. Is this a female struggle, I wonder? Or do men have a hard time with self-affirmation as well?
I know my husband does. He’s disabled and he finds it very difficult to accept he can’t work or do the things he used to do. He doesn’t realize he’s still got some life in him. But he thinks daily affirmations are stupid and I think that’s where the differences lie. Women will embrace change, they will seek out ways to make their spiritual selves better. Men seem to want to not seek help from others. I get the feeling they want to figure it out on their own. I may be wrong, but these are my observations from living with three males in my home. they are all the same way. They don’t like to ask for or get help and they certainly don’t chant or say positive things about themselves.
Not to make light of your comment, but they don’t ask for directions either. Men!
you have no idea how hard it was to NOT say that in my reply. I’m glad you did. I’m off the hook now.
Hi Jenny thanks so much for linking my post! Would you mind if I reblog your post it’d be a great first gues t post!
Sure, go right ahead. I’m thrilled you liked it enough to want to reblog. thank you.
Reblogged this on Your Mother's Soup and commented:
A great post about loving and trusting yourself check out my first guest post!
I deserve to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Why not? I’m a good Little Blue Lady. I encourage others to take over the world with me. Why shouldn’t I have a little world all to myself?
By the way. I have a little world all ready with the name Keller Ford on it. There are a lot of Dragons there.
Ah, little blue lady, you’re after my heart AND soul. I like you.
Nutty aliens. You can’t let them go anywhere by themselves.
I definitely believe you have something to be proud of yourself for! Being you!! There’s is no other you! You are uniquely your own and no one can tell you anything because they aren’t you. The only person I actually listen to their opinion about me is my mom- and most days I don’t do that because I’m ok with being me
it’s shouldn’t matter as no one else can love you like you should love you… Except maybe my doggies hahahaha!! THANK YOU for sharing that! I love you for you, not for who I think you should be 
Giant hugs, Maghon. Thank you. *wipes happy tears*
Yes only happy tears!!
you’re very welcome!!
Great post honey.
A therapist once to,d me that I am a “carer” ie, I care too much about everyone else and not myself
Good luck honey!
Xx
From a writing perspective, the question might be why we turn to others (editors, agents, reviewers) to tell us our books are “good enough.” That certainty has to come from within us, and it has to sustain us even when we get rejected or have reviews that seem to miss a major point.
Excellent point, Deby.
I have been trying to tell my son this for ages. Your words are so inspiring. I would like to share them with him and maybe he can appreciate them better because they’re not from Mom.